The Center for Public Mental Health (CPMH) of the Faculty of Psychology UGM held a non-regular Online Lecture (KulOn) as one of the agenda for the Pre-Online Summer Lecture Series 2022 (29/7). The topic raised by Kulon this time was Conventional Parenting in Today’s Times. The topic was directly delivered by Dr. Diana Setiyawati, M.HSc., Psy., as Head of CPMH, Faculty of Psychology UGM.
The event started with Diana asking some questions to the participants. One of the questions asked is what the main purpose of parenting is. Participants answered with several answers such as forming and accommodating children to develop optimally, facilitating children to grow according to their potential, accompanying and educating and caring for children according to their developmental stages. Another question that was also asked at the beginning of the show was what exactly the elements in parenting were. Then the participants mentioned several answers such as giving love, educating, and facilitating, understanding, and supporting, building connections, and bounding.
Through the material presented that the element of parenting is to provide support and control which is a combination in the parenting style. “Providing support can be in the form of stimulation or education, while control is supervision”.
Conventional parenting is parenting “like the old days I was raised”. “Children live for the future, not the present, let alone the past,” said Diana. There are four kinds of parenting styles, namely authoritarian (rigid), permissive style, uninvolved style, rejecting style, not involved
Diana also explained that the main goal of every parenting is to educate children with character. “So, when we talk about parenting, it should not be from an early age, but starting in the womb. Because the child’s character is determined once in the womb.” So, how the child is in the womb is influenced by how the mother’s character is, and it significantly contributes to the character of the child in the future. Does the mother accept the child she is carrying in a happy condition or whether the child conceived is the child that is expected.
“Therefore, the essence of family planning is planning a pregnancy so that the parents are able or ready for the pregnancy.” This is because the occurrence of pregnancy is an extraordinary event for children.
Diana revealed that currently at the Sleman & Bantul health center, pregnant women who are coming for the first time must meet with a psychologist for assessment. Regarding whether the child is fully loved, whether this pregnancy is fully desired or not and so on. Conditions during pregnancy greatly affect the character of the child. When parents are not happy due to stress or pressure, it will affect the placenta which is not able to carry out its function to filter toxins. This causes children in the womb to be susceptible to substances, one of which is cortisol, which is very corrosive to brain development.